Sentimental

I have been feeling pretty sentimental about the coming of the baby girl and the passage of time. I imagine many moms of two have travelled this road before. It seems like only yesterday (and of course it was only 17+ months) that I was preparing for Anders’ birth, and relishing my first pregnancy (or, on some days, wishing it was over). Being pregnant for the first time allows for luxuries that are just not possible the second time. We took classes, read books, lounged on the couch in the evenings waiting for the baby to move and watching the little punches on my right side. It’s different this time around for practical reasons. No time! And, of course, we don’t need to absorb all that info again. Hopefully having a baby is like riding a bike and the info will reappear at the time the skills are needed. Many moms have told me – don’t worry about not loving your second child as much as your first. It just happens. I have to believe them. Last time they told me I could not imagine the love I'd have for my child - and I didn't believe them - but they were right. I care very much for the baby inside me, though it is very hard to imagine feeling the love I feel for Anders twice over. Our love must suddenly multiply in the delivery room, just as it did the first time. This walking, jabbering, bounding toddler who has filled up the space of daily life in such an expansive, joyful way makes us feel like the luckiest people on earth. Over the holidays, we’ve had so much time together, and we’ve played like kids every day. I am sure that he’ll be a little puzzled when we have another one around, and I will be tied up at times with the baby and unable to play with him. I hope he understands. On some days, I imagine he won’t, but we’ll have to grow into a family of four just as we grew into a family of three. Anders will come to accept his new playmate and we'll feel comfortable in our new shoes. Babies are special little humans - and toddlers are too. Though tired at times, we feel lucky to be in this stage of life with young children. Their days are innocent, playful, and they are learning something new every day, every hour. We wish that all children could feel safe and loved and have lots of playtime. Why don't they? I also know that we will miss this stage mightily as the years pass by. It's a time of youth and promise. We're at the beginning. So much lies ahead. There are many stages of life, and we saw them over the holidays. From Anders to his great-grandparents and all the way in between. People reside in various stages of childhood, parenthood, adulthood, awkward youth, caretaking. We saw Anders staring at Pops, his grandfather, while he played twinkling Christmas songs on the piano, soaking it all in all. He looked up with such admiration, surrounded by cousins, his great-grandmother peeking in from the kitchen, his mom, me, and my mom, sitting by filled with adoration. There are some moments that we want to have last forever, and the past few weeks have been filled with those.